Regret and Pride Exercise

Tool for Improving Decision Making

Hello Reader,

How do I make a good decision?

The exercise below gives us the opportunity to learn from our past decisions; unpacking those decisions that we regret and those that we are proud of, so that we can apply the lessons we learned from those experiences into our life today and make good decisions.

REGRET & PRIDE EXERCISE (STEPS 1-4)

RIGHT AND WRONG REASONS

Reader, I wish I could hear the reasons why you regret and are proud of your decisions!

For me, the specific theme I discovered in myself is that I regret decisions I make for the wrong reasons and am proud of the ones I make for the right reasons. Personally, the wrong reasons include easiness / laziness, listening to fear, bending to society’s expectations, drifting or avoidance, staying in my comfort zone, and listening to other people. Conversely, reasons why I am proud of decisions include the times when I step up despite the risk or hard work, lean into my values and priorities, listen to my emotions and my gut, and take in relevant opinions from other people. 

Let’s dive into the final part of the exercise.

LESSONS LEARNED (STEP 5)

We are now going to bring together both sides of the coin, regret and pride, in order to gather insight from our experience and apply that into our decision making today.

MY LESSON: ACKNOWLEDGE THE INFLUENCES & LEAN INTO THE RIGHT REASONS

Excellent, the lesson I learned from this exploration comes in two parts. Firstly, I discovered just how many different voices influence my decisions; including my values, fear, other people, society, courage, body, laziness, comfort zone, objectives, future self, and I am sure there are more! All of these elements factor into my decision making. The second part of the lesson is that yes, I want to acknowledge this range of influences, but my aim when making a decision is to prioritize my values and the right voices.

I learned to make decisions for the right reasons. E.g. values, courage; objectives.

HOW DO WE MAKE GOOD DECISIONS?

We learn from our past decisions. Understanding the reasons we regret some decisions and the reasons we are proud of others allows us to use this knowledge and apply the lessons into our decision making today. As you go forward, prioritise the reasons that make you proud of your decisions and avoid the reasons that make you regret decisions.

Wonderful, Reader, thank you for diving into that exercise and I wish I could hear what you learned!

Happy doing!

Helping Young Professionals & Postgraduate Students Improve

ANSWERS FROM WORKSHOP

I facilitated this exercise in my recent decision making workshop webinar and collected the reasons why people regret and are proud of decisions, as well as the lessons that were learned. Dive into the following answers, there may be some nuggets of learning from the workshop that will apply to your life!

What are the reasons you regret decisions?

• Held back by lack of confidence

• Too much emotion involved in the decision

• A lot of times, there weren't clear points of decision. More like ended up drifting in a certain direction

• Because it strayed me away from my bigger goals

• Too hurried.

• Because it led to opportunity missed

• I avoided making a decision or avoided taking a risk

• Betrayal of self to satisfy others, making choice out of fear 

• Fear of failure or leaving my comfort zone.

• Kept me from growing, being happy

• Got me in unnecessary headache

• Fear, high risk

• I regret picking learning Spanish instead of French when I was in school just because someone told me French is hard and I won't probably need it 

• Making decisions in haste and in anger, regret it when I have not thought through. Methodology of considering others feeling too much.

• I notice that I’ve focused my regrets in terms of NOT choosing things, rather than on my choices.

• Not thinking the decision through properly

• Constricted by my comfort zone.

• Waste of time

• Not doing something - was afraid to be looked at negatively.

• Priorities not right

• Choosing the easy path instead of the best one.

What are the reasons you are proud of decisions? 

• Listened to my gut

• Helped me/others grow

• Character building

• Made a decision based on what I wanted to do rather than what I thought I *should* do

• Challenging myself

• I took a risk and grew as a person

• That decision led to other positive decisions

• Not choosing the easy way

• Helped me grow

• That I stepped out of my comfort zone/took a risk and had to attempt personal development in order to do so

• Boosted self-confidence.

• High risk decision with incredible outcome

• Feel like do the right thing 

• New beginning, new opportunities, less stress, doing what I like

• I feel more like myself

• Maintaining the same alternative thinking even when those around me weren't onboard.

Lessons Learned

• Stay true to yourself 

• Take your time.

• Good or bad - own it!

• If you think it's the right thing to do, it's probably the right thing to do

• Don't let others influence your decision.

• It's better to make a decision than no decision at all.

• Growth can be hard but necessary

• Know that you’re the only person who knows what’s best for you

• Unless we take a decision we will never know whether it's right or not!

• It is not an easy process, but we should listen to our brain and our heart to move to the best decision.

• Go with an open mind, build on everything , even if slowly.

• Follow your instinct, put yourself first even if your goal is to help others, commit, leave your comfort zone

• Think about the stakes first before investing time in the decision making

• Trust that the reasons will become clear in years when you look back on the path you took. If the decision is made with love (more than fear) then it will work out.