Pausing

A tool to help us say ‘no’

HI Reader,

Have you ever agreed, acquiesced or said ‘yes’ to something that you didn’t want to do? 

It is common - we want to please others, we want to accommodate their requests, we want to be liked. There are times, however, when it is important to say ‘no’.

PAUSE

When someone asks something of you, pausing before replying gives us the space to deliberate. It gives us the breath to think through the decision. I am not saying it is easy. There are still times when I pause and yet say ‘yes’ afterwards despite knowing that it is not what I want or need. Nonetheless, this pause is a step in the right direction. It means that we are not submitting right away. We are asserting some control. 

 
Pause - Helping us Say 'No'
 

Here are some examples:

  • Give me a minute to think it over.

  • I will sleep on it tonight and get back to you tomorrow.

  • Let me pause for a second and check if I have the energy / time / resources / ability. 

Understand, everything you say ‘yes’ to means that you are saying ‘no’ to something else! When someone asks something of you, take a moment to understand what you are saying ‘no’ to. For example, accepting the work assignment that will take up all of your evening means that you are saying no to your relationships at home. 

Happy Pausing!

Helping Young Professionals & Postgraduate Students Improve