Empathy and Sympathy

Hello Reader,

The distinction between empathy and sympathy is confusing - let me tell ya! 

Firstly, both terms derive from the Greek ‘pathos’, which means suffering, feeling, or experience. The prefix ‘sym’ can be translated into identical, with, same, or together, and ‘em’ equates to within, or in. Literally, we can translate the two words as follows:

Sympathy = identical suffering

Empathy = in suffering with

As you can see, the concepts behind the terms are very very similar. 

Our modern dictionaries add to the confusion, as they provide contradictory descriptions (if you are curious; see below). Looking strictly at empathy, Professor Batson, from the University of Kansas, has identified eight distinct phenomena that fall under the subject - imagine if he included sympathy in his research! If you want any more proof of the chaos, check out the range of opinions in the comment sections of Six Seconds’ article on Empathy vs Sympathy.

You are not alone when it comes to being uncertain of the distinction between empathy and sympathy :)

Empathy & Sympathy: Overview

Rightio, here is my understanding of the two terms.

As a starting point, I’ve chosen to use the Cambridge Dictionary definitions because I found they are middle of the range and represent the spectrum of diverse descriptions.

In summary, for me, empathy is the ability to understand the perspective of someone else and connect to their emotions, which contributes to connection and validation. Sympathy is the ability to recognise the emotions of others and feel concern for their struggle, which leads to compassion and support. 

Popular Culture - Brene Brown

A brief aside to acknowledge how empathy and sympathy are perceived in our current culture.

Reader, I don’t know if you have come across Brene Brown yet. She is a brilliant author who researches shame and vulnerability and I highly recommend her books (my favourite is Dare to Lead!). After her 2010 Ted Talk, Brene Brown skyrocketed to fame and is now a leading voice in our modern western world on emotions, vulnerability and courage. 

When it comes to empathy and sympathy, Brown’s work, and short video clip seen on the right, take front and center stage. As a result, her message influences any other interpretations of the two terms. We will briefly explore her explanations so that we can understand them, whilst also shaping our own independent ideas of empathy and sympathy.

Brene Brown’s message is that empathy is the antidote to shame. It is the fuel of human connection. In her words, Empathy says ‘I may not have had the exact same experience as you, but I know the struggle, and you are not alone.’ It gives us the ability to truly understand and validate the emotions of another person. Superb. Awesome. No disputing that point.

Sympathy, Brown writes, drives disconnection. In her words, Sympathy says ‘Wow, that’s bad, I feel sorry for you. I don’t know or understand what your experience is like, but I’ll grant you it looks pretty bad and I don’t want to know.’ In Brene Brown’s use of the term, sympathy means indifference, a superficial acknowledgement of someone else’s suffering, with no follow up action. I agree that the approach Brown relates is damaging and not what we want to do. However, I also believe she has taken the term, ‘sympathy’ and twisted it, stigmatising it as a result. For me, this response is not a sympathetic response, but an unempathetic one.

Brene Brown’s message is brilliant, but I believe her interpretation of sympathy discredits the concept.

Sympathy AND Empathy

Bringing it all together, I believe the discussion shouldn’t be Sympathy vs Empathy, and instead a conversation around Sympathy AND Empathy.

In fact, for me, empathy and sympathy go hand in hand. They build on the same foundation of understanding the emotion(s) of others, identifying with their struggle, and supporting them in some fashion. Empathy gives us the ability to share the experiences of others by standing in their shoes, thus permitting us to validate their emotion and show that they are not alone in feeling this way. Sympathy gives us the ability to recognise the emotions of others, thus spurring us to feel concern for their struggle and compassionately provide support. 

Reader, take a peek at this build up of how empathy and sympathy could support one another in our lives. 

1. Empathy: we see the perspective and connect to the emotions of someone else.

2. Sympathy: having understood the experience of this person, we in turn feel our own emotions of care and concern for the other.

3. Kindness: having felt our emotions of concern, we do what we can to alleviate the suffering.

There you have it, my understanding of empathy and sympathy for you to mull over.

Wishing you continued joyousness and enthusiasm :)

Helping Young Professionals and Postgraduate Students Improve

Cambridge

• Empathy: the ability to share someone else's feelings or experiences by imagining what it would be like to be in that person's situation

• Sympathy: (an expression of) understanding and care for someone else's suffering

Oxford

• Empathy: the ability to understand another person's feelings, experience, etc.

• Sympathy: the feeling of being sorry for someone; showing that you understand and care about someone's problems

Dictionary.Com

• Empathy is the capacity or ability to imagine oneself in the situation of another, experiencing the emotions, ideas, or opinions of that person.

• Sympathy is largely used to convey commiseration, pity, or feelings of sorrow for someone else who is experiencing misfortune.

Merriam Webster

• Empathy is when you understand the feelings of another but do not necessarily share them.

• Sympathy is when you share the feelings of another

Chambers

• Empathy: the ability to share, understand and feel another person's feelings.

• Sympathy: an understanding of and feeling for the sadness or suffering of others, often shown in expressions of sorrow or pity.

Collins

• Empathy is the ability to share another person's feelings and emotions as if they were your own.

• Sympathy is the sharing of another's emotions, esp of sorrow or anguish; pity; compassion

Macmillan

• Empathy is the ability to understand how someone feels because you can imagine what it is like to be them

• Sympathy a natural feeling of kindness and understanding that you have for someone who is experiencing something very unpleasant

Brene Brown

• Empathy is feeling with people

• Sympathy is feeling for people